Blood & Ink: People as Jazz

“How available are you to those around you?”

We’re in the final 2 weeks of our integration program for the last Apotheosis Retreat. Yesterday, we ran a session about community, relationships, and integrating yourself into the web of life.

It struck me. My honest answer is ‘not much’.

The prompt helped me realize that I still have a very deep transactional or ‘outcome-focused’ orientation with conversations, relationships, and community.

A sense of waiting/boredom in conversation, like there must be a faster way to get to this conclusion so that we can go back to living our lives.

Conversation is always a means to some distant end, instead of the destination itself.

I wrote:

“That doesn’t feel good to say, it doesn’t feel in alignment with who I am or who I want to become. I want to be so nourished in myself that I can just be with someone, with groups of people, for hours and hours. To play jazz with people, to make brilliant spontaneous moments.”

Have you ever seen or spoken to jazz musicians? Jazz is a serious affair to those who study/play it. And yet, the act itself is playful, spontaneous, and borderline chaotic.

Life, people, and conversations are a lot like this.

A little aimless; not going anywhere in particular. A little chaotic; as you push your limits, go to the edge places, and coordinate live with another or several people. But the improvisation is beautiful, art happening in real-time.

Make jazz with people.

Be fully available to them. If you have chosen to be there, be there fully. Bring your mind, heart, and Self to the moment. It’s not about getting something for yourself or getting to a particular place.

It’s about dancing and playing together.

Make some jazz,
EB.