Blood & Ink: The Age of the Lost Boys

“We don’t grow up, we just grow old…”

I was cruising the barren wasteland of Instagram reels and came across one that struck me…

This one, to be exact:

Now, nothing against Jordan the Stallion, his account is honestly hilarious—but he said something that I don’t believe was meant in ironic humour, I believe this is an opinion held by far too many people, men and women alike.

Specifically, he says…

“And this is another example of men, we don’t grow up, we just grow old.”

Now sure, there’s an ‘inner child’ argument you could make here to defend that line.

But also… REALLY?

Instagram is a viral cesspool of brain-rot videos of grown-ass men trading Pokemon cards, #nostalgia-core videos, and silly gotcha pranks. It’s like Black Mirror watching 35-year-old grown men act like 12-year-old schoolboys.

You can—and absolutely should—grow up as a man.

Deep maturity, total responsibility, and high-conviction action are gifts afforded to the masculine psyche, not inevitable imprisonment that excited boys must be subjected to.

I have spoken endlessly in my writings at HighExistence and Serious Play about the loss of the rite of passage, the initiatory experience that affords men this transition from childhood into full adulthood.

This isn’t about blame. But this idea is deeply corrosive to the psyche of an individual and the well-being of a collective.

Men can, and should, grow up.

In our present culture, they don’t. Endless Peter Pan syndrome.

These are very different problems and require very different solutions.

But my God, where are the REAL men? Where are the ADULTS in the room? Why is MATURITY such a scarcity?

Because there is a truth that this genre of posts points to: maturity is not just a matter of age. You do not become a MAN just because you get older. Maturity, masculinity, and meaning are things you step into, cultivate inside of you, and develop.

They don’t fall out of the sky on your lap. They don’t auto-magically turn on once you hit a certain age.

Do the best you can until you know better. Once you know better, do better.

Grow up, it’s great.
EB.