Blood & Ink: Commit, or Quit.
“Commit, or quit.”
I love this heuristic so much. It’s wildly confronting.
If you’re not committed to something, why is it part of your life?
Most of you have probably encountered Derek Sivers' “hell yeah, or no” quote before—same vibe.
You dishonour yourself, whoever else is involved, and whatever the thing is—with your floppy wet fish, quasi-committed attitude.
As much as you think you’re doing a great job of hiding it—somehow ‘protecting’ others from your internal division—everyone knows. They feel it. It radiates off of you.
Now it’s important to say: being fully committed to something doesn’t mean that the thing is going to work out, be perfect, or effortless.
That’s the sticky residue of ‘all or nothing’ sensationalist thinking.
In reality, the orientation of “I’m only going to commit to things that I know are going to work out 100%, for me, for the best.” will have you committed to precisely nothing your whole life long.
Nothing worthy of your commitment is going to be easy, effortless, or guaranteed.
Usually, it’s the opposite. Those things most worthy of the greatness of your full commitment will challenge you, tie you up in knots, push your limits, and bring you to the edge of your capacity.
Commitment has nothing to do with the outcome. Commitment is an input. It is a sovereign choice you make and an embodied act of devotion done each day.
For a moment — forget about other people, different projects, the uncertain future, even the noble aims you have. Bring it back to your life for a moment:
What does it say about your relationship to yourself and your life when you are not fully committed to yourself, or your life?
It is a profound level of self-betrayal.
If you’re not committed to your life, why would anything or anyone else be?
Commitment is not a life sentence. It’s not a prison. Maybe there’s a project you’re working on that you don’t have a total commitment to. That’s fine. It’s not a binary between endless martyrdom or dropping the thing entirely. It’s a negotiation. What has to be true for you to fully commit to this? Is it changing the scope of what you’re working on? Is it changing the compensation structure so you feel fairly rewarded for your effort? Get clear with yourself, and make it happen. And if those changes can’t be made, if your requirements for full commitment can’t be met, great! You have your answer.
Commit, or quit.
One of the mental pretzels I wrap myself into at this point is feeling like a failure if I quit something. Being so attached to my identity as someone who ‘never backs down’ that quitting is never an option.
This is an opportunity to investigate what you are committed to.
- With your one wild and precious life, are you committed to this side project over your flourishing?
- With your one wild and precious life, are you more committed to this other person than to your life?
The invitation is to be fully in, fully committed, to your existence here on this planet. Everything else grows out of that.
So long as you never quit on yourself, you can’t fail. This returns us to our opening: by never fully committing to yourself, to your own life, you’ve already failed. You’ve never started!
Commit, or quit.
Commit to yourself and your evolution. Commit to humanity and the present moment. Commit to doing good work. Commit to higher principles, like Truth, Goodness, Beauty, God, Virtue, and Life.
It’s not conceited narcissism to be fully committed to your Life. It is the very starting point of the life you are destined to live on this planet.
The specific projects, people, and places that best match your commitments will change as consistently as the seasons. No problem. But honour yourself enough to be fully committed.
The energy of total commitment, presence, and attention is so liberating to yourself and others that the rest takes care of itself.
You’ve got this,
EB.